He traveled the world and learned to speak truth to power
Aaron loved calling out bullshit and so he earned his Bachelor’s in Sociology because it was the academic discipline that made the world make the most sense. He earned his Master’s in Sociology to continue that growth, and joined the Peace Corps for adventure, volunteership, and the discovery of untold stories. He spent three years in Eswatini (formerly Swaziland, a country surrounded by South Africa). In that time he tried to determine what programs were effective in slowing the spread of AIDS and analyzed intersections of gender identity in Eswatini.
I befriended Aaron in 2018, and he was just about the most perceptive, empathic and arrogant person I had ever met. What a combo. I really liked his arrogance though, because it reminded me of myself. He had just finished his Masters in Sociology at PSU. We started to hang out, and every time we did, he blew my mind with his analysis of class, race, gender and oppression theory. He put into context so much of the struggles that we face in the nonprofit sector on a daily basis.
On top of all this, he went to therapy, and was dedicated to becoming a more self aware human. One of the books he recommended to me was Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and another one was The Language of Emotions. He was so good at seeing me, really seeing me, and letting me be vulnerable. I can’t ever thank him enough for that.
He was a true sociologist and had a gift for reading people and noticing their misconceptions, issues, and what they were struggling with. In addition to his creative writing, he was always applying his sociology knowledge in his interaction with people. He wrote several articles and was interviewed on sociology concepts like hegemonic masculinity and being a traitor to whiteness.
Here are the articles he wrote for me:
I also interviewed him on my podcast
Masculinities and Femininities at Work
What is Hegemonic Masculinity, and why should you care?
Why women have a harder time getting leadership roles
We loved his creativity.
Aaron was so creative! He enjoyed writing. It was his preferred form of artistic expression. It took most of his lifetime to come to terms with the fact that he was a writer. So instead of buckling down to write he began collecting life experiences instead. He wrote
- A full length science fiction novel that was really good, called You Galactic Bastards (and if you want to read it, I can email it to you! Just leave a comment!)
- Was beginning to write his second novel, which was going to be more about his peace corps experiences in an alien world,
- Stories for escape rooms and he also ran the escape rooms,
- A choose your own adventure coloring book.
He was so so loved.
This is us at his birthday party last year. We had such a good time! We played DnD in person, and then we played other games. Had cupcakes, he shot off a confetti cannon, it was really fun.
Sachii
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Clearly he has been called to the other side furthering his mission for humanity. This is a plus gain for angels but it’s a terribly painful transition for those who are still here and love him dearly. I send you love and hugs in this time of grief.
Mazarine
hahaha a plus gain for angels- that is a phrase I never heard before, I’ll take it. 🙂 thank you Sachii
Karen Nemiah
Oh Mazarine- I am so sorry for your loss. Aaron sounds like a fantastic friend- the kind everyone needs. I am so glad you found him and helped him form a wonderful chosen family. It’s never easy to lose someone special, but losing them too young is truly devastating. Sending hugs and lots of smiles while you and your tribe celebrate his ongoing magic. Godspeed, Aaron.
Mazarine
Thank you Karen. He was a really special friend. I am so so grateful that I had as much time as I did with him. Thank you for holding me in my grief.
Anne MacKay
Mazarine, I am so sad for the sudden death of your dear brother-by-choice, Aaron and the loss that surrounds you and your friends. I can only imagine the hole that such an amazing person’s absence leaves in your life.
Since I work in a hospice, may I offer you a resource that is meaningful to people here. The book, The Wilderness of Grief: Finding Your Way by Alan Wolfelt, helps people step into their grief and meet that pain.
You and Aaron have helped so many grow into more compassionate people. May you feel that compassion surrounding you now in your times of sorrow.
Mazarine
Thank you so much Anne for the book recommendation. I’ll definitely check it out. I see your expertise from working at a hospice, and really appreciate you sharing it. Thank you for seeing that he helped me have more compassion. It was such a side benefit of knowing him. i know that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Renee Elizabeth Boyle
See my emailed response
Mazarine
thank you so much Renee, I will look at your email and respond. Thank you for commenting.
Bonnie Chavez
My heart aches for you and those who hold Aaron’s memory.
Mazarine
Thank you so much Bonnie. that means so much.
Nate Rochester
Mazarine, this is a beautifully written testimony of Aaron’s life and the intense loss currently being felt by those who loved him. Besides his novel and other content he created and contributed to (thanks for those links, by the way!), Aaron’s greatest legacy is embodied by the people who’s lives he touched during his too brief a time among us, and, to the extent that such impacts can be conveyed in this format, your post does so eloquently. Thank you for these words, thank you for all the work you are doing to help sort his affairs, and most of all thank you for reaching out and connecting with me and others who miss our friend so deeply.
Mazarine
Nate thank you so much for saying what he meant to you at his service. I’m so glad you knew him even longer than i did. You had more incredible Aaron time! I’m so grateful that he existed and that we got to know him so well. I’m so grateful he made me realize how I didn’t have to compromise with friends, that really really good friends are out there, and we just need to make room for them to step in. Looking forward to getting together with you and Mykie sometime soon.
Victoria Catinella
This is a beautiful tribute! My heart goes out to you.
Mazarine
thank you so much Victoria. Just trying to help other people know how special he was. I hope you know, a little now.
Tracy Hyter-Suffern
Mazarine,
My heart is breaking into a million pieces. I Am holding you tight, whispering “I understand” into your heart (I wish I didn’t. I wish you didn’t. But we both do. And it is a terrible thing.), telling you over and over that I love you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful letter and this beautiful tribute. Keep writing. Keep crying. Keep surrounding yourself with people who loved Aaron. Don’t try to make sense of it all because it doesn’t make sense. Keep looking for him in unexpected moments and places. He will be there. Greet him every time.
I love you.
Tracy
Mazarine
Tracy thank you so so much for this beautiful comment, and I’m sorry that you too, know the trauma of losing a brother who was so close to you. I am so sorry for all of the loss you have experienced since COVID started. It doesn’t seem fair. It isn’t right. And yes, there’s no making sense of this tragedy. But you are right, I can look out for moments when he is there, and I thank you for reminding me that I can do that. Love you too Tracy,
Mazarine
Shannon Wampler-Collins
Mazarine,
Thank you for sharing your brother with us. He was such a loving soul who made this world a better place. I am so sorry for your loss. I know he will live on in those he touched.