Have you heard?
Barbara Erhenreich has started a nonprofit called The Economic Hardship Reporting Project to talk about how both companies and the government are stealing from the poor! She is speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves.
Recently, I got a beautiful email from my friend Pamela Grow. If you’re not on her email list yet, and you are fundraising, you are MISSING OUT! So here’s her site, go there, sign up, you’ll love her weekly missives!
In her email, she had this quote:
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” -Elie Wiesel
It spoke to me on several levels.
If your nonprofit is all about speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves, whether it’s animals, or the disabled, or the elderly, or the children, I hope this post speaks to you today.
When I was little, my mom would tell me, “Don’t judge people, don’t compare yourself with other people. Just be quiet”
When my dad would scream at me and make me cry, my relatives stayed silent, and just watched what he did.
Later on, I saw them stay silent about a lot of things, things that I thought mattered, whether it was someone’s massive credit card debt, or domestic violence in the family. I could never articulate why I HAD to say something about it.
I thought there was something wrong with me when I saw injustices in my family and in the world and could not stay silent about them. It did not make me friends. It made me enemies in my family.
Recently on a trip back east, I talked with my relatives about one of my siblings, who seems to drink a bit much. At least, it seems so to me. It was an aside in a conversation, but it got back to him that I was “gossiping behind his back.” Now he’s not talking to me. It’s making me bummed out, honestly. But I’m dealing with it by remembering that everything changes, and that someday, hopefully, he’ll talk to me again.
Should I have stayed silent, if I saw something was wrong?
Is it right to stay silent?
Even at the cost of your own conscience?
When is it appropriate to confront someone about their drinking?
When they get into an accident? When they hurt someone else? This sibling is a role model to all of my other cousins. Because of his example, they are definitely drinking more. I see it when we get together, and it makes me sad. Even if he doesn’t think he has a problem, he’s influencing other people I love in a negative way. Should I stay silent about this, even now?
Consider again this quote by Elie Weisel:
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” -Elie Wiesel
I have totally gotten in trouble for things I have said on this blog before. I might get in trouble again for saying this now. BUT I MUST say it.
Is there something you are being silent about in your life, that you need to say something about? Do it now.
Consider that silence implies consent with whatever is going on.
Is there someone you can speak up for when you see them being yelled at?
How can you work to make a more equal and just world by speaking up for others or for yourself today?
If your nonprofit speaks for those who cannot speak for themselves, how can you galvanize your supporters to take action for those voiceless or the marginalized in our society?
You can use this quote in your enewsletter, or in a blog post.
If you want to do more, I have a free app on workplace bullying that can also apply to stuff you might face at home, this app can help you name and claim what’s going on: Get it here.
And if you don’t have an android smartphone, here are some posts about demanding dignity in the workplace
Bullying Bosses Can Cause Employee Suicide
How do you respond if a manager ostracizes you or yells at you in front of staff?
How can you recover from a toxic workplace?
Rankism Blog by Robert Fuller: http://www.breakingranks.net
20 ways to demand dignity in the workplace: http://www.breakingranks.net/weblog/20-ways
The Workplace Bullying Institute http://workplacebullying.org
What have you spoken out about recently?
How did it make you feel?
Did you get negative fallout for speaking about what was important to you?
How did you respond?
I really enjoyed this post, Mazarine. If you’re ‘getting into trouble’ for the content of your blog, good for you! If you’re not getting somebody’s knickers in a twist, you’re not doing your job (my variation on a well-known quote).
A million years ago when I was in college, I schlepped my clothes to a local laundromat and a halfway into my task, a woman came in, dragging two young kids (around 7-8 years of age) behind her. She berated and screamed at them constantly – a crescendo of insults, threats, and psychological torment that led to the her grabbing one and slamming the child up against a washer; I heard her little head hit the equipment. These kids were doing nothing to provoke her rage. The laundromat was packed, and nobody intervened in *any* way (a la “Kitty Genovese syndrome). What message was sent to those children? That there is no safety net; no safe harbor. I will never forget it, and vowed never to let MY fear (or youth, at the time) or uncertainty prevent me from speaking out for those who cannot. I have, on innumerable occasions since, refused to remain silent (and have been thanked by those around me that did), but I am still haunted by those two children and what became of them. And, what I *failed* to do on that day – never again. This post reminds me that speaking out is ALWAYS the ‘right thing to do’.
You did the right thing by expressing your concern about your sibling; families are the most difficult groups to permeate – even when concern, love, and loyalty are the very highest – and intent is purest and loving. He’s just not ready, perhaps, to come to terms with the issue, and projecting anger and insecurity onto you.
Best wishes, Mazarine; I hope you’ll keep us posted. I’m sending positive thoughts for a happy outcome in your family.
In the meantime, keep saying what needs to be said! 🙂
Cheryl McCormick
Thank you so much Cheryl, I really appreciate the time you took to make me feel better about this.
I struggled with these feelings for a long time, I’ve actually had this post waiting for about a month until I felt ready to “go public” with it.
It sort of opened up all of my childhood wounds, all over again, but the nice thing is that as you get older, you can look at them with time and space intervening, and you can acknowledge how you’re making your life different, right now, even if you were encouraged to be silent when you were little.
One of my cousins stayed with this sibling recently and he had the same conclusion that I did, and he definitely told his family about it, so I know that they won’t think that I’m the only one who sees this. I’m really not trying to stir up trouble, but I do want to make sure that the rest of my family doesn’t see his example and try to emulate him. And sadly, that is what a lot of them do, right now.
One of the issues is that he makes a lot of money, and in my family, and perhaps in the US in general, people tend to make excuses for those who are rich. Being rich, to them, is a measure of worth, and of value, over any other. If he can hold down his job and stay rich, they will probably continue to say nothing.
I used to get mad at others for drinking and call them out on it, my mom said, “it’s because you care more” and perhaps there’s some truth in that.
Thanks for helping me make it okay to speak out!
Mazarine