“If I wanted to accomplish anything about the issues I cared about, I was going to have to accept criticism and not let it paralyze me.” -Laurie David
Lately, I’ve been pondering the unchangeable nature of the universe. Namely, that as women, we’re not supposed to stick our heads out too far, or risk having the heads be chopped off.
Marin Alsop, Music Director for Baltimore Symphony Orchestra “If everybody just loves you, you’re probably not doing a very good job.”
Arianna Huffington, the founder of the Huffington Post, published her eleventh book in 2006 for her daughters entitled: “On Becoming Fearless.” It has lots of examples of very successful women overcoming their fears. Not just Oprah and Arianna Huffington, but women who work at nonprofits, who have founded their own companies, and who have stuck their necks out and succeeded.
Last week, I read a blog post that nearly made my heart stop beating. Sady Doyle, founder and chief writer behind the Excellent and Hilarious Tiger Beatdown, wrote this post.
In it, she talks about all of the hate mail she’s received, for taking a stand for rape survivors and condemning Julian Assange of Wikileaks and Michael Moore’s flippant comment about the whole ordeal.
In case you haven’t been following along, Ms. Doyle went on a one-woman Twitter brigade, (with #mooreandme) intent on letting Michael Moore know that he needed to retract his comments RIGHT GODDAMN NOW and apologize to survivors of sexual assault. She kept at it day and night, forgoing sleep, food, everything she enjoyed, JUST TO FIGHT FOR SURVIVORS and for feminists who believe that people should not be flippant about rape. And eventually, Michael Moore did apologize. To Sady Doyle, who is not exactly a huge figure in the blogging world, or in the film industry.
Which is, when you think about it, a tremendous victory. FOR US. For Women who write for gender equality, for human rights, for social justice, and freedom, and for survivors of sexual assault.
And now Sady Doyle is getting hate mail, and considering deleting her blog. All I have to say, Ms. Doyle, is DO NOT GIVE UP. Look at what Laurie David and Marin Alsop say.
One thing I learned in this last year is that we need to celebrate victories big and small. And if we don’t celebrate the successes we’ve had, it’s cheating ourselves. We need time to say, “Wow, I did that!” And “Thank you for appreciating me, and believing in me!” And rest a bit, take in the praise, and the joy in that victory, whatever it was. If your nonprofit doesn’t do that, then BE THE FIRST PERSON TO START. It’s not about waving a flag every time someone answers the telephone, but it IS about knowing what to celebrate. Appreciation goes SO FAR in our lives that it’s hard to imagine a workplace that would be bearable without it.
Just so you know, I don’t know Sady Doyle personally, and I have never told her how awe-inspiring I thought her stand was. But now, I am telling her. Because Sady Doyle is a heroine and a leader and I am glad she is writing. And I want her to keep writing.
Want to do more to help Tiger Beatdown? Email Sady Doyle, and tell her that you think she rocks. And then, go to her website, and give her money. This fight isn’t going to fight itself, you know!
Sady, this message is for you. Today I used your November-published article, “Learning from Karen Lewis” (In These Times) for my peace vigil leaflet in Plymouth, NH, on the Common. Three different passing-by university students who are studying to be teachers took it, and when I told them they’d learn much from reading it, sounded enthusiastic. A New England College prof came by and took it, said she’d pass it on to others. A woman who has teachers in her family took it and, as I do, likes the “three questions” Lewis lists towards the end. Just wanted you to know. I like the writing. I like the new info. I was happy to get it into others’ hands today.
Our vigil banner (one hour on Saturdays since February, 1998, when Clinton/Blair were going to start bombing Iraq but Kofi Annan got them to hold off – until December that year) reads:
True peace is not merely the absence of tension. It is the presence of justice. –Martin Luther King, Jr.