Do you ever feel like there’s a power imbalance in our society?
What makes you lose your power?
And how do you get it back?
What can make you lose your power is when you start to focus on things that are designed to make you insecure, like ads that have super skinny make-upped highly photoshopped people with the latest designer everything. Basically people who don’t exist in real life, but only on magazine covers. You might start to think that you need lipsuction, or waxing, or laser hair removal, or an expensive makeover, or you name it.
Every time you see those magazines, remember, For Every Anxiety, There Is A Product.
Even if you don’t identify as a feminist, you may not be a person motivated so much by ads for special hair relaxers or liposuction or ultra-permanent makeup or laser hair removal.
In fact, you may find those ads quite offensive, and see through them for what they are, Attempts to make you insecure and get you to spend money to feel better about yourself. Perhaps you’re opening your eyes and seeing that objectification that happens everywhere, and choosing to not give your power away to it.
“If somebody is investing time, resources, and energy into convincing you of your own worthlessness, that same somebody has revealed to you that they have a lot to lose if you don’t believe them. They’re protecting their own loss of power. Which means they perceive you as somebody who can take that power away. If somebody is putting in the work to knock you down, it’s because they’ve got something to fear about you if you’re standing up.” –Harriet of Fugitivus.net (Thanks to Ealasaid for the recommendation!)
Bidisha, columnist for The Guardian, goes on to say, “Women’s collective fight-back is occurring in reality and in person, not just in the form of narked critiques online.”
But even the narked online critiques seem to be gathering momentum. A few weeks ago, when Jezebel said that the Daily show had a woman problem, namely that they had very few women correspondents and writers, the Daily Show shot back an “open” letter from their female writers stating that they were very happy, and that the Daily show was very respectful of women.
To which I say, “O RLY” because in 2009, the following male actors/comedians were guests on the Daily Show (according to Wikipedia): Daniel Craig, Liam Neeson, Ricky Gervais (twice), Tom Selleck, Dev Patel, Billy Crudup, Paul Rudd, Ian McShane, Seth Rogen, Ben Affleck, Hugh Jackman, Denis Leary, Will Ferrell, Ed Helms, Larry David, Kevin Nealon, Paul Giamatti, David Cross, Tim Gunn, Matt Damon, Clarence Clemons, and Hugh Grant. And the female actors/comedians? Cameron Diaz, Rachel McAdams, Sigourney Weaver, Wanda Sykes and Joy Behar. So we’re to believe that these 5 women were the ONLY ones willing to appear on the show?
So this year, at the Emmys, there were several women onstage, compared with the past 4 years, when there’s been one or two women on stage at most. A victory? Perhaps. They also asked a former female correspondent, Kristen Schaal, to come back. Salon.com seems to see this in particular as a victory for Jezebel, and for feminism, that the Daily Show is taking stances to increase the number of women publicly on the show and to talk about feminist issues. So in this case, perhaps, online snark actually accomplished something. WOW.
But it’s not ALL pop culture fluff.
As Bidisha writes, “The symbolic and powerful Reclaim the Night marches are back, across the UK (in America, it’s “Take Back The Night” -ed.). Groups, charities and initiatives including Justice for Women, Women Against Rape, Women Against Violence, Million Women Rise, Women’s Aid, Eaves, Refuge, Object and the longstanding Fawcett Society and Southall Black Sisters have national prominence and are part of the international movement.”
If you want to know who ELSE is helping in your movement or your cause, just go on Myspace, and check out all of the Myspace pages, or even Facebook pages for these causes. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised how many people in the world are working towards your cause, or towards the cause of women’s equality.
You should see some of the comments Bidisha gets. It’s a LOT of men investing their time in telling her that she’s wrong, bad, a man-hater, and so on. They are really invested in protecting themselves from losing power. But the more they focus on her, the more they show their own insecurity.
Anything you pay attention to thrives, and anything you ignore eventually starves and dies.
Power is Attention.
Attention is Power.
Think of your attention as a very precious resource. How do you want to spend your resource?
Get clear, gather your allies, and fight back by putting your attention towards the cause that matters to you, and the people who can support you and hear you. Blog, get on twitter, go to a take back the night march. Start to actively ignore magazines and websites that try to make you feel like you’re not good enough in some way. I know you can do it.